To Be

Arriving at the Divine

2007-09-24T17:33:00.000-05:00

In memory of Jeanne McBride who passed away early this morning

My times are in thy hands. - Psalm 31:15

Today is a mix of emotions. To me, Jeanne's life was an example of love in its purest form. Always compassionate, always loving and never judging. A true follower of Christ.

There is no way I can convey the loss we all feel, but today Rev. Blanton from First UMC in Appleton summed it up for me. Those of us who knew Jeanne were so impacted and spiritually invested in her teaching and listening, that the loss feels much greater than expected. Not only did we lose a friend or family member, we lost a role model and an example of who we strive to be.

Thank you Jeanne for all we realize you have taught us and all we will later realize you were trying to show us all along. We miss you, we love you and we look forward to seeing you again someday.

McBride, Jeanne Elaine
Appleton

Age 56, died Monday September 24th, 2007 at Cherry Meadows Hospice after a 6 year courageous battle with breast cancer. Jeanne was born April 3, 1951 in Madison to George and Elnora (Bemis) Wilson. She graduated high school in Madison and then went on to U. W. Madison where she received her B.S. in Sociology. She then attended Asbury Theological Seminary in Wilmore, Kentucky where she received her M.A. in Religion. She also was awarded a M.S. in Guidance Counseling at U. W. Stout. Jeanne was very active at First United Methodist Church in Appleton where she was a Stephens Minister. She was a Certified Spiritual Director and Founder and Co-Advisor of Kaukauna P.R.I.D.E. Youth Programs. Jeanne spent her life enjoying many of God’s creations through hiking, swimming, backpacking, and camping. She will be sadly missed by her loving partner Jacki Jensen, Appleton, her 2 daughters: Jamie (Nick) Coenen, Westfield, WI; and Kelly McBride, Fort Collins, CO; Her son Timothy (Abby) McBride, Panama City, FL, 3 grandchildren: Samuel McBride, Hannah McBride, and Leah Coenen, her parents George and Elnora Wilson, her sister Ellen (Roger) Miller, Oklahoma, and brother Dan (Beth) Wilson, Madison. Jeanne was preceded in death by her brother Tom Wilson. A Memorial Service for Jeanne will be held 6pm on Thursday September 27th at First United Methodist Church, 325 E. Franklin St. Appleton, with the Rev. Doyle Blanton and Rev. Grace Cajivat officiating. Friends may call directly at the church on Thursday from 4:30 until the time of service. In lieu of flowers a memorial fund has been established for : Pine Lake United Methodist Camp, W8301 CTY Rd M, Westfield, WI
53964.

If you have memories or want to write a message to Jeanne, please add a comment to this post.

Dazed and Confused

2007-09-20T17:52:00.001-05:00

I am very proud of my girls. They did the apple sauce process from start to finish.
They canned 20 quarts and started on dried apples

Kelly is hoping to have lots to take back to Colorado to supplement her diet and late night studying.

I have come to some conclusions about this cancer in my body. It is more ready than ever to take over. It doesn't want me remembering things, even the simplest things. The pain meds are also in want of a fight. Give them the simplest thought and there they are saying "oh, ya, bring it on, I can take you." Confused and doubting myself. Thank you for you prayers.

2007-09-18T15:39:00.001-05:00

Appleton Apple picking, sauce and dried apple making party sponsored by the McBride Appleton picking party women, was the project of the day. First we hit Star Orchard and picked mostly Gala's ( a very sweet apple).
Taste taster no 1 gave the ok on the galaness of the Gala.
Tree top picker no. 1 gave the Ok on apples from the top.
Frisbee catcher number 1 gave her Ok on the Frisbee field.
Baby catcher number one had the number 1 say on Leah catching.
Apple tree alert, Oh how Gala it was.

An interesting thing happened to me today. Some friends wanted to come over and play games. I found how really drugged I am. I couldn't remember numbers. I am so out of it. I am having trouble remembering most short term things. I need to sleep alot. Doing my blog is getting to be a stretch for me.

Blessings

Yapples

2007-09-16T17:54:00.000-05:00

The family went out for supper last week, on the Fox River. It is such a pretty time of year.
Leah has been spending hours in front of the dry erase board. She is going to figure out this baby fantasy foot ball, if any body can.

My Companions in Christ group came over this afternoon. We spent the afternoon working on a new quilt. for each of us. It will have each others hands embroidered on it. When we are finished we will be in each others hands, holding each other. It is an awesome concept.

Poor Jacki has a cold, I wish I could give her some of my sleep. I do an awfully lot of it.

Jamie and Leah are coming tomorrow to pick apples and make apple sauce. Kelly is getting back from Minneapolis. It should be a nice little apple party.

kona and her frisbee

2007-09-13T22:13:00.000-05:00

Kelly is really proud of her puppy Kona. She has taught her how to catch her frisbee instead of just running at it and flipping over head first in the grass.

Harp

2007-09-10T15:09:00.000-05:00

So first I get lazy, then my computer has a breakdown. Then they get real busy at the computer service department. I really missed my computer while it was down. I didn't realized how much I used it.
This is Bard Leah bringing us music from the old country.

I spent this weekend on a woman's retreat with church. We were at a friends cabin. We shared our hearts with each other. I am so thankful for these women. They are my soul companions, my midwifes for my death. They will be there for me through my process.

Love them Kids

2007-09-04T12:25:00.000-05:00

My three Children. All together in one place. They are so happy. I am so happy just to have them around me. It is so hard to describe the richness of this blessing.
So which child has the best baby belly going?

Today's verse in Jeremiah talks about the clay in a potters hand is like we are in God's hand. As we yield ourselves, God Molds Us.
Yield - t0 allow access to yourself. To open ourselves up so God can have total access.

I am afraid the drugs in my brain are getting in the way of me being able to express myself. Anyway I appreciate God wanting to have total access to me.

Gathered and loved.

2007-09-02T13:26:00.000-05:00

These past few days have been days of peace. I feel so peaceful inside. It is also the most wonderful feeling being the momma hen with all the chicks gathered.

There is such a sense of contentment. What is also nice, is everyone is taking care of me. That is a very special feeling. I feel so blessed. Thank you Jacki, for everything you are doing. Kona is happy to have her mommy. I am so thankful Tim can be here, and like I said the whole family sharing together. A mothers dream.

celebrate

2007-09-01T11:45:00.001-05:00

I am amazed how many days have gone by since I have written. Leah has been visiting, along with others.
We went to Madison on Wednesday to celebrate a late birthday for my mom. She is 84. Last week she was feeling sad, about when she was going to see me again, if she was going to see me again. So I told her I would come down to see her. We had a close special visit. I then had a parent moment. I looked in my mom's eyes and we spoke so much love between us. It is like the only thing important in the world. The same thing happened with dad.
Yesterday was Deb Coenen's Birthday. She turned 50.

So we celebrate birth, life and death. I celebrate how God holds it all together.

Love is all we got

2007-08-27T15:49:00.001-05:00

I had a nice weekend even though I couldn't keep track of what day was what. Jacki's family had a gathering to welcome Jose' into the family. I really like this picture of Conner.Micheal got new braces this week. He is quite the man.
This is Kelsey and Jose. Jose is really sweet and knows his mom and daddy's intensive love for him already.
I love all of this generational relationship stuff. The love carrying on through the generations. What else is there?

Good news from Kelly's direction. She met with her advisor and he is bending over backwards to help get through school. Along with her boss who is trying to help her keep her job. I think things are looking pretty good for her right now.

Jamie and Leah come tomorrow to babysit me. We are going to Madison on Wed. to see the folks. and Tim flies in on Friday. It is wonderful having an opportunity to see lots of people.

My friend Kristie came to visit yesterday. She brought me one of her painting. She has really become quite the professional. I really love her work. We also went to a church open house for the new ministers. Weather yesterday was beautifully perfect.

Amy my nurse came today. My anti-inflammatory pain killer was upped this time. It seems that this is just going to be an unending process of stronger painkillers. Oh yea!

Praise to God!

Kona

2007-08-24T14:22:00.000-05:00

I' ll try my first video posting. This is when it wasn't raining an Kona was happy. Poor puppy. When Kelly asks "Kona what are doing? Kona looks at me in real time, just like she does in the video.

The old gray mare, she ain't what she use to be

2007-08-23T14:52:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Old Lady! Today we mark the birth of Jacki, our special lady.
She is getting up there in years, and one would think that with age comes wisdom, but in this case we are not sure.

So have a great night golfing with the women, enjoy the steak dinner and remember.........

don't forget, we love you. (written with help from Nicole)

Ode to a front end loader.

2007-08-22T16:05:00.001-05:00

I think this front end loader is a symbol of my life. It is there every day, so we have become quite attached. It is loud, has an obnoxious back up beep, rattles my house. Like it, my skin is turning yellow. I have some obnoxious burps and farts, and my cough rattles my whole body. It sounds like my buddy is going to be around for a couple more months. What a companion, a front end load can be.

Jay, Jacki's brother took off work early today to come and fix our broken front door. He is quite the master fix it man. It is a real gift he has. We love you Jay. Thanks for sharing, Nicole.

Good meds

2007-08-21T12:37:00.000-05:00

My nurse decided I should raise my pain killers again. It is amazing how I went from a bad, angry look at life to hopeful and happy again. I am up to 60 mg. 3x a day. It sure helped the pain level and my attitude. Amy and I discussed what my possible drug future held for me. After this doesn't help anymore, I will probably be moving toward a morphine pump. I'll guess I take what ever comes my way. Hopefully with the increased pain will come a more intimate closeness with God. Everything else should become less important.
Easy for me to say as I sit here and let women from my Companions in Christ group clean my house. I sure am thankful for these companions. Oh so thankful. The Lord's love comes blazing through them.

I got a call from Kelly. She is back in Colorado "putting her ducks in a row"

Amy just called to see how my meds were working . I told her how impressed I was.

Please pray for Kona's adjustment in our life. She likes to poop in the basement and her adolescent teeth are encouraging her to chew things. I could live without both of those things now, so I ask for you to pray her through it. She is such a wonderful little doggy.

2007-08-20T12:22:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Tim, 29 years old today. I love you!

Today I am having a visitation of angels. My friend, Deborah and her daughter Sloane are here cleaning my house, doing laundry. How sweet. Kelly took off for Minneapolis and Colorado. She has been very helpful.
Yesterday I didn't feel good all day and this morning I woke up in a lot of pain. I am mad at pain. I don't like it. And I don't really like drugs either, but what do you do. More on this later.

Quiet?

2007-08-16T16:54:00.000-05:00

It has been a few days. I have had a lot of nice company. My mom called to today and wanted to know how I am feeling? So mom...
My meds are keeping me fairly stable throughout this last week. I see the nurse tomorrow. She might raise them. I will let you know. In other words my pain is being taken care of by what I am taking, except 2 to 4 times a day when I take a breakthrough to help with immediate pain. One more: in other words, life is good. I'm comfortable. I have been experiencing a little vertigo, when I get up and down. I think it is low blood pressure. I'll ask the nurse tomorrow. The Hospice social worker came by today. I like her. I find myself willing to discuss on a very intimate level, especially spirituality.

Kelly has been in agony about what to do about her life in the near future; going back to school or not. I'll let her blog about it. It has been a long trying process for her. As always she will be stronger for it.

Tim is coming up Labor day weekend, for a visit. I look forward to having the time with him.

The constructing went on out in front of our house all day... all day. The noise really started getting to me, but thank God it is quiet now. It is amazing how thankful one can be for quiet:
"be undisturbed, be still, let be, sound of gentle stillness"

Quotes of the day

2007-08-13T16:30:00.000-05:00

The truest help we can render an afflicted man is not to take his burden from him, but to call out his best energy, that he may be able to bear the burden. Brooks, Phillips

Angels fly because they take themselves lightly. Chesterton, Gilbert K.

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. Bailey, P

Were we as eloquent as angels we still would please people much more by listening rather than talking. Colton, Charles Caleb

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us. Augustine, St.
earl

Lightening strike

2007-08-12T12:18:00.000-05:00

I love thunder and lightening storms mostly, but last night the lightening had the oddest sound, kind of like a metallic sound and LOUD. There were quite a few close strikes. Then the Mega strike hit. It bounced me around on my bed and I yelled "holy shit." Kelly came flying into my room and Kona is like "What!" Since I wasn't sleeping much,it make the night go faster. It also served to remind me in an exciting way, Who's this world is.

I don't think I said so before, but Kelly is not taking her 3 week class, due to overwhelming feeling of wanting to me home. She is in the process of deciding about whether to go next semester. Pray for her. Not only for all the decisions she must make, but also for all the emotions that are going with this whole losing mom experience. In fact my whole family could use your prayers.

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out."
Art Linkletter

Light

2007-08-11T16:08:00.002-05:00

I haven't notice a whole lot of difference with using the oxygen, but I guess it must be helping. Every one went to Pine Lake today. I didn't feel up to it, so Kelly and I stayed home. I hope to go on another day that I am feeling better.The girls and Jacki have been taking such good care of me. The doctor agreed I should add a new drug that is a steroid and anti-inflammatory. My energy is limited, so I guess I am officially going down hill, physically anyway. Spiritually, I am moving toward the light. Sounds kind of cool to say that, huh? But is one of my favorite images, along with being help in God' arms. Images are all I have right now. Now I see in a mirror dimly and soon face to face.

Little Moments

2007-08-09T19:20:00.002-05:00

I am so thankful for the little moments in life, that are so precious and beautiful.

I've had lots of visitors lately. Yesterday my sister, Ellen and my brother-in-law, Rodger drove up for an afternoon visit. Jamie and Leah also came.
Today my friend Jan Peterson came for a visit and Nicholas and Anna came and spent some time. Busy and fun days.
What a day this has been. Leah is all used up. Her and George monkey need some rejuvenating.
My nurse Amy came. I am getting some breathing help and I will either be trying a new med or upping my present one a little. So there you have it.

Kona here!

2007-08-08T20:28:00.000-05:00

Arf this is Jeanne's granddog Kona! Today I saw a lot of shuffling feet, tennis balls, food parcels, and a small little girl they call Leah that I like to run after and growl at just to make her scream..arfff. Today I watched Kelly and Leah pick up my poops...ha ha..while little Leah kept saying "poop" over and over. I also watched the air conditioner guy clean out the air conditioner...that's where that mouse went that I was chasing the other night. I am a little crazy they say... I like to run to the back door and go arf and then chase squirrels for hours on end. My Grandma is feeling icky and I really like to curl up at her feet and sleep with her...but I am usually waaaay too hyper active for so much sleeping. Right now I like to put my tennis ball right next to an unsuspecting person and stare at it until they throw it. Sometimes I stare for like 10 minutes and then I can't take it anymore and I pounce on it and move it to the next person. Or I just resort to pouncing on my shadow. I really don't understand the shadow thing....it moves when I do! Arf?! Anyway I think I am going to go eat some kibbles that I don't like. I really like my Grandma's house...they just bought me $20 worth of new toys... I am sooo spoiled.
drool and fur to you,
Kona the purebread border collie

pain and death

2007-08-07T11:17:00.001-05:00

Raise your hand if you like pain.
Raise your hand if you want to die....
Not any takers I see.

Pain is just no fun.

One poor creature suffered a great deal of pain in our air conditioner last night.
We were frustrated because it was banging and making noise and here the poor thing had lost its life.

Both pain and death.

Those two things are looking me in the face a lot recently. They might want to look me in the face, but I prefer to keep my eyes on God.

Company

2007-08-06T13:32:00.001-05:00

Saturday we had alot of company. This is my friends Kathy and Julies' grandaughter, Bailey.
Our nephews Micheal and Conner
And Julie and Madison at the park.
Roz and Troy came by that night. It was great seeing so many people in one day.
Sunday I slept all day. I guess it is the price I pay. Well worth it though.

MY nurse came by today. This is the first time I met her. For the last 2 weeks I have had nurses, but not the one assigned to me. Her name is Amy. I like her. She thinks I am doing OK. I'll see her on Monday and Wednesday's.

Close to the Heart

2007-08-04T13:13:00.000-05:00

Close to the heart is a secret place
where dreams are stored away,
and sturdy candles of faith are kept
against a darker day.

And there, too, are the memories --
The laughter shared, the tears,
the little things that mean so much,
seen through the mist of years.

Our deepest wishes, deepest loves,
the burdens that we bear --
the essence of our being
Lies in what we harbor there.

To each his own-- a hideaway
That has no counterpart--
The treasure house of the soul that lies
Somewhere close to the heart.

- Helen Marshall

On and On

2007-08-03T14:52:00.001-05:00

Kelly left for Minneapolis today. It was nice to spend the week together. She is taking a class up in northern Minnesota. Hands on Nature stuff. I LOVE MY KIDS!

I got my pain pills upped yesterday. Not quite doubled, anyway, I won't have to take so many break through pain pills for when the 12 hour release isn't enough. So I guess this means my pain is increasing. I also have little to no appetite, but I am thankful for each moment I am alive. I am thankful that I am in God's arms now and I will be for eternity.

Sister party

2007-08-02T11:41:00.001-05:00

Went to Madison yesterday. We got a new 4 generation picture.My Leah was a little tired with out a nap.
My girls and grandgirls.
It was a sisters party. Jamie and Kelly, Ellen and Jeanne, Elnora and Auntie Marge. My sister is up from Oklahoma after a back surgery. We picked up Auntie Marge in Oshkosh to bring her, and Jamie and Leah came down for the day. It was great.

Diggers

2007-07-30T12:29:00.001-05:00

This my front yard today. Front end loaders and back hoe. They are trying to go through the roots of the tree, so as to not have to take the tree down. Lots of action, with those yellow vested, hard hat guys.
I am doing pretty good today. My Theda Care at Home(Hospice) nurse came today. She thought I was doing well.
Dan and family were camping at Pine Lake. We got to spend some time with them. Nice.

Time passages

2007-07-25T16:59:00.000-05:00

Here is Jamie and her Elementary through High school friend. Katie and Jamie use to play Barbies on this floor and now here are their children playing together. Time passages.

2007-07-24T19:52:00.001-05:00

Leah and I were doing some word processing after all of our meetings the last couple of days.
The lawyer was extremely helpful, making sure everything is in order.

We then we talked to the social worker at the hospital that filled us in on how Medicare works and how it will specifically work for me. Things look pretty good in that quarter. This afternoon we talked to a hospice person. What a helpful program. They are going to help me every step along the way. I feel so much more at peace, knowing things are being taken care of. Jacki is also relieved.

I tell you it is a lot of work getting ready to die.

2007-07-23T12:08:00.000-05:00

Today Jacki and I go to the lawyer, to make sure everything is the way we want it. It will be nice to have that out of the way. After that I go to a social worker at the hospital to help me wade through the medicare stuff, which I have to start using in Oct.

A friend is coming over tonight that I haven't seen in a couple of years. Should be fun.

Some thoughts about dying:

I don't believe I have concerns about dying, other than saying the goodbye part.

My picture of beyond my death is all LOVE, light, and energy concentrated in the presence of God. God standing with arms open, welcoming me into them. I go into them and am encircled in incomprehensible love.

Letting Go

2007-07-21T13:04:00.001-05:00

"Letting go never seems to get easy, and growth will never happen unless I can really surrender. To let go does not mean that we give up or that we do not care. Rather it means we choose to use our energies in another way, giving them another direction. Instead of concentration on what has been hurtful, we look to what will be life giving." - Joyce Rupp

I look forward to the loving arms of God. I don't look forward to dying, but the next step beyond that will be glorious. This very moment now is wonderful. I couldn't ask for a more beautiful day and more wonderful people in my life.

Hope

2007-07-20T11:52:00.000-05:00

What a fun few days we've had. Jacki and I picked up my Aunt Marge, who is visiting her daughter in Oshkosh and we drove to Madison to mom and dad's. Nephew Todd and family was there. This is Aleah . She was smallest, but she is very healthy and happy now. She has a great smile, but in this picture her shoe wins the prize for tasting the best.
This is McKinley. She is one of three, with red hair in the family. Very sweet.

What a sweet disposition Colton has. This is a trio of sweet easy going kids. They found their way into my heart.
Two year old Bradon adopted Jacki. He is also a great kid, and really handsome. As long as he feels listened to things are pretty good with all the sisters and brothers. If he doesn't feel listened to, he knows how to go about getting the attention he needs.
Stephanie and Nate, 16, and 14 (Michele's other kids) are wonderful with those kids, as are Todd and Michele. Everyone has such patience and are so easy going, but best of all, the love in that family is so evident. May God bless their lives.

I went to my first appointment with my Palliative Doctor (Swanson) yesterday. He happens to be my first Oncologist, but now he is into pain and comfort care. He explained how to utilize my pain pills, and the flexibility of making them work for me.

He said when my body starts to succumb to extreme weakness that things will go fast, but right now he thinks I am looking pretty good and can't really tell me how long I have to live. He said the two main symptoms to expect in the future will be weakness and weight loss. This is because the cancer cells use up energy that I would normally have.

He is such a positive guy, I can't help but feel hopeful.

Going the rest of the way

2007-07-17T13:03:00.001-05:00

As you scale the Mountain of God, know that the spoken word can only take you so far.

To successfully reach the summit you must go the rest of the way in silence.My pain meds are keeping me fairly stable, in other words, little or no pain.

God is good...
all the time.

2007-07-15T14:05:00.001-05:00

We have had some nice visits from friends the last couple of days. Nicole and the boys spent Friday afternoon here. Julie and Kathy drove all the way down from Eagle River for an afternoon visit, on Saturday. I made it to church today for the first time in a couple months. Our new minister was there. Seems like a nice guy.

I've decided that drugs are like pinholes in the profound part of my brain. My wisdom and profound thoughts seem to be leaking out slowing. I like to ponder things and seek wisdom. Is wisdom going out faster than it is coming in?

For the moment, this amount of drugs seems to have stabilized my pain messages, so everything is good. This moment is wonderful.

Maggie May

2007-07-13T19:29:00.001-05:00

Maggie the neighbor dog is visiting for the weekend. Her mommy went to Beloit to see family. Maggie likes to visit, because we have windows right at her level, and lots of chippies in our back yard.The upped dosages of drugs are working good for me.
May God continue to bless your life. Despite appearances I know mine is blessed.

Finger hut

2007-07-12T12:06:00.000-05:00

I forgot to brag about Kelly making it into the July, 2007, Climbing Magazine. It says here "Kelly McBride on Fingerhut (V10), Joe's Valley, Utah. I am proud of her. She is a great woman., and prone to be even greater.

So now that I am on double the meds, I don't have much pain, but it does make me sleepier. Pray for Jacki and my kids. Jacki is going to have a lot of added responsibility in the future.

I am still trying to live in each moment of each day, in the presence if God. It seems to be all that matters.

Hi

2007-07-11T15:16:00.000-05:00

Hi friends.

I've been in some pain lately. Today I went to the doctor and upped my dose of Oxycontin. I guess I am reaching that drugged up stage.

We spent some of our last days swimming in Pine Lake. Mom and Dad got a ride up to Jamie's yesterday and really wanted me to come, so I went. It was a beautiful day and wonderful to see everyone. Even Leah who had shots that morning and was a tad bit grumpy.

We are looking forward to my nephew Todd and his family coming up. Triplets ought to be interesting and fun.

Happy fourth

2007-07-04T18:12:00.001-05:00

Happy Fourth of July

Today we visited the Environmental Learning Center, that has a Raptor recovery program. this eagle had quite a personality. It truly is a great national symbol.We checked out the O'dell brewery, but we liked the Belgium brewery better. Another rest day before we take off for home tomorrow. One of Kelly's friends is stuck in the middle of Nebraska with a broken down car. We are picking him up tomorrow and bringing him to Des Moine, where his parents will pick him up.

Mountains

2007-07-03T18:48:00.001-05:00

We had two nice days. Yesterday we went up the Poudre Canyon and today we went up to Rocky Mountain National Park.We went about tree line. It was beautiful, incredible really.This is an ice cold stream in an alpine meadow.
Mountains are awe inspiring.
Psalm 121: 1,2
I will lift up mine eyes unto the mountains:
From whence shall my help come?
My help cometh from Jehovah,
Who made heaven and earth.

Rest Day

2007-07-01T19:42:00.001-05:00

Today was a day of rest for us. We slept in. We decided 5 college age boys in one house + us is too much and went and got a hotel room, so Jacki could feel like this was truly vacation. We went up to Horse tooth Reservoir, which is just a short drive above town. Does it look different in the summer, Jamie? Look at those fat cheeks, mom. I am looking pretty darn healthy aren't I. No worries.

Made it

2007-06-30T22:14:00.001-05:00

We made it here by 7:00 PM. Took in a storm between Cheyenne and Ft. Collins. There was a double rainbow, but only one shows in the picture. I felt pretty good all day, although I am tired now. Jacki and I are going to take a rest day tomorrow, while Kelly and Brian go climbing.

On the road again

2007-06-30T07:53:00.000-05:00

We are headed for Colorado, minus Bill. He couldn't come because of 2 funerals he needs to do. We didn't leave until 8:00PM from Madison. We had supper at my folks house. (thanks for supper mom) and we stopped at Des Moines at 12:30. It will be a long day, but que sara, sara, what will be will be.

Our heart

2007-06-28T12:43:00.000-05:00

"As bees can never remain upon anything decayed but only among flowers, so also our heart finds rest solely in God and no creature can ever satisfy it." - Francis de Sales

Crap

2007-06-27T10:37:00.000-05:00

Goldfinch at Sue's feeder.Monday afternoon my friend Sue, Kelly and her friend Kris went to Pine Lake for an afternoon of swimming and sailing. It was beautiful. I swam Leah out to the raft. She thought she was pretty hot stuff being on the raft with her mom.

Yesterday I felt like crap. (I learned the word 'crap' from my grandson.) I finally took a pain pill at 6:00 PM and went to bed. I got up this morning at 10:00 to find my whole street filled with firetrucks. Sorry you missed it Kris. The construction people had hit a gas line. Sound familiar Brian? I feel better today, but I suppose after 16 hours of sleep I should. My stupid body just doesn't want to keep up with me.

On Friday Kona, Kelly, her dad, Jacki and I are going to drive out to Colorado. Jacki and Bill have never seen where Kelly lives, so we are going to take a week and tour around. I hope my stupid body holds up. I am sure I can sleep a lot if it doesn't.

Company

2007-06-25T10:24:00.001-05:00

Kelly has had much company this weekend. Her friend Em and boyfriend came . Ben is a great guy. Em gave Kelly a hair straightner, highlighted her hair, and dyed my mousy brown and gray. Kelly sure looks different with straight hair.Later another friend of Kelly's came. Kris brought a friend for Kona. They like to play together.
Today it is hot and we are going to Pine lake for the day. I plan on spending the day laying in the water.
The port-a potty hasn't moved. It is still at the end of the block. Yea.

Boat trip

2007-06-22T20:20:00.000-05:00

Kelly and I went boating with my friend, Sue. This is Kelly on Lake Poygan. What a beautiful day. Truly phenomenal.
Our first mate in front of Fin and Feather, Winneconne (for you Kris) It was a great day. Thank you, Sue.

The Sound of Silence

2007-06-21T12:29:00.000-05:00

I Kings 19:12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence.

"After several powerful phenomena occurred in which God did not speak, he did communicate in a quiet, intelligible manner. Perhaps this was to show the prophet that he should not be looking for spectacular encounters with God, but but should instead listen for the voice of God in the more mundane (Gray). Jesus Christ, God’s ultimate word of God, came not in a sensational way, but in a humble way."

Sheer silence - Can I hear God's voice? Do I take time to listen? When I have taken the time to listen there is such a fullness of joy in that time. Silence can be so filling.

A celebration of love

2007-06-20T17:03:00.001-05:00

Today is our 19th anniversary. We had a marriage ceremony in the U.P. on Lake Michigan. It was at six in the morning and it was just her and I. We picked wild roses and daisies. We had communion and said our vows. It was a beautiful day. Our love has changed over time from that crazy in love feeling to a very deep, all encompassing and all abiding love. I am so thankful that you have been my partner for these 19 years, Jacki.

Port-a-potty

2007-06-19T19:42:00.000-05:00

The big question on our street is: Who is going to get the port-a-potty in their front yard next? We all think it would look better in our neighbors yard.

Life is grand

2007-06-18T19:40:00.000-05:00

I was still tired today. I slept in. I also went to my Oncologist. Since choosing not to do chemo my cancer has progressed. I can feel it in my liver, which has gotten tender. He says I don't need to come back any more, but encouraged me to see Dr. Swanson about palliative care. I am not in pain enough to see him yet. I asked him how long he thought I had. He said he couldn't answer that, but then he did and said within the year. So my challenge is to find the beauty and art of each moment. Each moment of this life is special and I plan to enjoy them.

Quiet house again

2007-06-17T16:26:00.001-05:00

Tim and his family have made it home. They had a wedding in Chicago on Saturday, and arrived home today.
This is my favorite place to eat, American Soup Company. I dragged the fam there for lunch.
The weather turned hot and the kids enjoyed the fancy pool in the back yard.
I took Jamie and Leah home on Friday and we swam alot this weekend. Here Leah is examining Kona's foot for any abnormalities. She is thinking about becoming a vet.
This is Kona the Kool.

Thomas the Train

2007-06-14T10:07:00.001-05:00

What a big day! We went to Green Bay to ride BIG Thomas the Train. First we lost the tickets and after everyone searching for every where for a long time, we found them in the outside garbage. A little smelly, but still dry. We made it in plenty of time.The train ride was fun. The kids became Jr. Conductors.
Tim, Hannah, Abby and Sam and Thomas the Train.
Leah, Jamie, Bill McBride and Sam doin the Greenbay football thing at McyDee's
We then went to Bay Beach for some rides. In this picture Leah was still happy. 10 seconds later, she was crying and climbing out.
Everyone loved this ride.
We went on a second train ride that day.
The bunnies have launched themselves. A couple still hang around the yard, but the rest have moved into other yards. What with the kids and the dog, I'd move too. This one has only 3 working legs, so it hasn't gotten to far.

Great swimming day

2007-06-12T22:04:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was hot so the big girls took to the pool for a cool down. This is what they do during nap time.We have baby bunnies in our yard. By tomorrow I believe they will be out hopping around.
We went to Pine Lake today. What a perfect day for it. Hot and sunny. I swam half way across the lake twice. Tim's family took a boat ride, and swam.
After a long day playing with cousins, Leah curled up with her blanky and went to dream land.

Family fun

2007-06-11T12:57:00.000-05:00

We had a fun day yesterday. We went to Breakfast on the Farm with thousands of other people and saw lots of farm animals. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera. Hannah likes being outside at our house.Kelly decided to put a slack line up. The following pictures show this. This is the kids trying to make it tight enough.
Kelly walks on this like a tightrope to improve her balance.
Then Sam gave it a try.
This morning we went for a walk down the street to see the diggers and trucks making holes in the middle of our street. Sam got to look in the big hole.

Sam and Hannah

2007-06-09T19:37:00.001-05:00

They arrived after spending sometime at great parents and uncle Dan's. They were tired, but excited about playing in the grass and sidewalks. This is Sam's smile. I think he looks a little scarry, especially with the climbing helmet on.
Hannah fell on the cement and riped up her knee, just like her cousin Leah and like her cousin she didn't cry. She still won't come to me, but I'll give her another day.
Kona gets a workout here.

Family's coming

2007-06-08T20:31:00.001-05:00

What a pleasant day. Jamie and Leah stayed for half of it, and then went home. Kelly and I got the house ready for Tim's family. They left from Florida at 3 this afternoon and expect to pull in tomorrow morning, after driving all night. I hope Tim's kids sleep through the night and night cry their parents crazy. This is going to be such a great time having the family together.

Nymph

2007-06-07T17:36:00.001-05:00

I found this little, naked nymph in my garden today. She was adding water from her pool to the water in the fountain.
Kona gets tired here. Lots of action.
So the MEGA storm missed us. I don't mind, our ground is pretty saturated. Lots of strong wind today though.

Oh yea, the doctor called today and said my MRI hadn't changed from the one 3 years ago. Nice.

Otherwise

2007-06-06T19:26:00.000-05:00

I got yelled at for not blogging. I have had nothing profound or otherwise to say, so I didn't bore you. Kelly came home today with my granddog Kona. Kona seems quite comfortable here. She is a sweetie. She and Leah have kind of bonded, after Leah was reminded what gentle was. They are about the same size so sometimes they scare each other.

It stopped raining long enough today for me to pull weeds. They were taking over. Everything is so green and lush with all this rain.

Road Trip

2007-06-05T20:05:00.000-05:00

Lots of rain the last few days. Today Jamie, Leah and I went to Camp Lucerne today to visit Nick. He missed his girls.
We walked around Lake Lucerne.
This Leah NOT going in the water.
We found quite a bit of poison ivy.
I am feeling a lot better. Haven't heard any more from my doctor, so I guess I am OK.

Tomorrow Kelly comes home. Yeah! And Tim and family come on Saturday. Yeah, Yeah!

Jugs=big, wide climbing holds.

2007-06-01T19:49:00.000-05:00

Kelly, check out these jugs your niece is using. She is getting ready for some more technical stuff.

I had my MRI and the doctor called tonight and left a message saying things looked pretty good. When I know more than that, I'll let you know.

There is a nice gentle rain right now. It is very pleasant to listen to. Except Jamie made me smell Leah's car seat, to see if it still smelled like puke. It did. That wasn't so pleasant, as it seems to want to linger in my nose. Poor Leah got sick on the way here today, or I should say poor Jamie, she had to clean it up.

How Majestic

2007-05-30T16:21:00.001-05:00

Psalm 8
1. O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name throughout the earth!
Your glory is sung above the heavens.
3. When I look at your heavens,
the creation of your fingers,
the moon and the stars that you have set in place—
4. what is a mortal that you remember him
or the Son of Man that you take care of him?
9. O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name throughout the earth!

Like the psalmist here, it often happens that as we begin, perhaps reluctantly, to praise God, we actually come to praise God truly. In other words, sometimes we praise others and God because we feel like it; but other times by praising others and God, we actually begin to feel different - and then begin to act differently also. - Ulrike Guthrie

My latest piece of information is that I am to have an MRI on Friday. I am guessing to see if there is cancer growing in my brain stem. I am also guessing that the MRI is to see if they can radiate the spot if necessary. My head is still somewhat funky. So... Praise God.

Happy 15Th Anniversary to Jay and Nicole Jensen. (I had a picture, but I don't have the picture.)

Memorial Weekend

2007-05-29T11:28:00.001-05:00

Memorial weekend and the first hay is being cut. Thanks to all who have served our great nation.

My weekend was kind of weird. I got vertigo on Friday and felt weird all weekend. I have a call into the doctor, because he said this could be a symptom of the cancer. I'll see what he says.
Leah had a great time playing with her Grandma's this weekend. She got lots of attention.

2007-05-24T13:57:00.000-05:00

Poudre River in Poudre Canyon, Colorado
Life was very quiet yesterday. I laid around and took a nap, and listened to the wind. This morning and tonight I have to work the light board for the spring choir concert.

Tim just got back from a men's retreat. He had a great time. I am sure he will blog about it.

Kelly is in the "Valley" of Yosemite, where the mountain walls are so steep and high that cell phones don't work. I am sure she is having fun.

Tomorrow we go to Jamie and Nick's for the weekend. It will be kind of a party. Deb, Nick's mom and my friend Kristie will be there too. Camping at Wildwood will be some more of our friends. It is not suppose to be particularly warm this weekend, but I am looking forward to a great time.

May you have a relaxing Memorial weekend.

Singing and dancing

2007-05-22T11:50:00.001-05:00

I sit in the warm sun.
The wind is playing with the leaves and they dance together.
The birds each have their own song of joy.
New green life is all around me, as God's spirit is in and around me.

Psalm 104:33
I will sing to the Lord as long as I live;
I will sing praise to my God while I have being.

Street

2007-05-21T20:54:00.001-05:00

Work has begun on our street. They are putting in new pipes. So we are in for a summer of dust and noise and not being able to park in our driveway some of the time. Yea.

Kelly is on her way to Yosemite with her friend Kris. In fact they are probably there now. She has designs on some boulder problem that very few women have done. I am sure she will do it.

Happy Anniversary Jamie and Nick. May 22. May God bless your marriage.

Planting

2007-05-20T18:54:00.001-05:00

I thought I would help plant Jamie's garden on Monday, but Jacki changed her mind again and we went there for Sat and Sun. Leah got a boo, boo on her chin.

Jamie and I got everything planted.

Leah of course likes to help.

Grandma and Leah love the water. It was nice to be there, but the time went fast.

Surrounded

2007-05-19T12:27:00.000-05:00

We look for vision from heaven, for earthquakes and thunders of God's power and we never dream that all the time God is in the commonplace things and people around us. - Oswald Chambers

Tribute to Tatum

2007-05-16T11:07:00.000-05:00

Today will be Tatum's last day. She has stopped eating, and is crying a lot. She has no energy to do anything. It is hard to see her in pain. Both of her back legs shake continueously and one side she doesn't walk on. She has been a wonderful dog, full of love and easy going. The whole family loves her much. We are going to miss her a great deal. We love you, Tatum.
Idgie and baby Tatum

Loves to swim

Camping at Pine Lake

Frisbee fun

2007-05-14T20:35:00.000-05:00

Kona chasing her frisbee down a big hill. She loves it.

We took Kona for a Frisbee run. The Frisbee is as big as she is.
She was kind of tired when we got back and had to lay down to drink her water.
I went to work with Kelly. She and the guy next to her teach these kids climbing skills.
This girl is learning how to lead fall. Kelly is belaying her.
Tomorrow I leave these beautiful mountains and my beautiful daughter and head for home.

Rocky Mountain National Park

2007-05-13T22:28:00.000-05:00

This is the diamond on Longs Peak. It can be seen from a long ways away. Brian says it is the premier alpine big wall in the United States. 1000 foot wall above 14 thousand feet.

Today Kelly, Brian, Kona, and I went driving around Rocky Mountain National Park. It was beautiful. Kona thought she should have the whole back seat, and pushed Kelly to the window.

Brian and Kelly looking at the scenery. Oh I guess they are looking at me at this point.
Kona was eating dirt and Kelly told her to stop. Notice the tail between the legs. She is very sensative. Otherwise she was involved retrieving the frisbee.
Take note of what Kelly's feet and hands are holding her body weigh on. They are called crimps. They are little tinny edges that only hold your finger tips and tips of your toes. The challenge of bouldering.

Day in the mountains

2007-05-13T10:52:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we went up Poudre Valley. This is the Poudre River. There were many kayakers.
We continued up to Cameron Pass. It was snowy up there. That is were we ate lunch.

Then Kelly did some climbing.

Then we went to a blue grass concert up in the mountains. It was cool. I was sitting right on the river. It was mostly hippies. I thought I would be the oldest person there, but there were hippies my age there and even a few regular kind of folk. It was a fun day.

Hanging with Kona

2007-05-11T15:49:00.000-05:00

Today Kona and I are hanging out. Kelly has to work this afternoon, so I am trying my hand at water colors. Such a different medium from acrylic paints. We took a nice walk this morning to a park and played fetch for a while. Tonight we are cooking out. It is just a gorgeous day. I am thankful to be alive and visiting my daughter.

Kelly and Kona

2007-05-10T19:41:00.000-05:00

I'm in Colorado, with Kelly and her puppy Kona. She is quite the lover. She is snuggling with Kelly at New Belguim Brewery, where we met a bunch of kids from Kelly's program at Colorado State.
At this brewery they give you 4 samples of their different kind of beers. All are quite different. Most are pretty good. We tried to see the Environmental Learning Center, but the road was closed. Another time I guess. It is nice to be with my baby.

Fly away

2007-05-09T14:45:00.000-05:00

Jacki and I went for lunch at a place along the Fox River. I was nice to spend time together since I am leaving tomorrow for Colorado, and she will be playing tennis tonight.
I believe she will be quite busy while I am gone. She has tennis, golf, the Soleburner Cancer Walk and Connor's 8th birthday. Happy birthday Conner! Plus she has obliged herself to keep our new grass watered.

My neighbor, Bea is flying me and her to Colorado. I am so thankful to have such wonderful neighbors. I am really looking forward to spending time with Kelly. She finished her last final today.

I love spring with the wonder of new growth and the beauty of the colors it brings. God is great!

Spring time in the big city for Leah

2007-05-08T18:21:00.000-05:00

Leah joined the neighbors for a skinny dip in their pool. Loves that skinny dipping, just like grandma.

The ice cream truck went by and Jamie was very excited to buy her daughter a push up. I think it interesting to see the tri color on her face. Leah loves cold things.

Bath time for Big eyes

2007-05-07T21:44:00.000-05:00

I've had a visitor. Little dirt between her toes girl. She loves to play in the bird bath and is excited about being able to go outside anytime she wants, because her mommy and daddy put the screen porch up today. She tires me out though, but I love seeing her.

Kelly climbed a V10 today. Not too many women can do that, but my muscle bound youngest can. She is awesome. I fly out with my neighbor on Thursday to Denver. Kelly will pick me up. I can't wait.

PIC History

2007-05-05T12:48:00.000-05:00

This is a picture history of my last few days.
May 1: Leah is thinking about joining crazy grandma in the water.
Leah decides to take the plunge, after all what is a little freezing water.
May 2: Bike ride on the Elroy Sparta trail. We went 15 miles through 2 tunnels. This is an old railroad bed.
Sore knees, sore knees, sore knees, but beautiful country side.
Da family: Jamie, Leah and Nick
Ouch, this hurts worse than cancer

Bridge stop.

Leah doesn't like the doctor even though she didn't get a shot. She's been sick for a month and mom thought to get it checked out. The doctor agreed it was too long and put her on something.
We planted flowers with Leah's help. She water them and herself and walked on the flowers. Here she is bringing me seeds. My little helper, full of dirt.

And that has been my few days.

Bike ride

2007-05-02T21:00:00.000-05:00

We rode our bikes 15 miles, through 2 tunnels, today. 10 would of been good, but we had to do 15. It was a beautiful day. My knees are really sore, but I did it and had fun, so who cares. I am so thankful I am still able to do these things.

Pictures won't up load again, so I put them up when I get home.

New goal reached

2007-05-01T18:57:00.000-05:00

I did it. May 1 and I dove into Pine Lake.
Beat that Kelly. Even Leah went in up to her waist. She said Brrr, but she figured if grandma could do it, she could do it. She is a trooper. He mommy only got her toes wet.

Tomorrow we are going to do the Elroy Sparta Bike Trail, or I should say a bit of it. It should be pretty. I am not in the best of shape, so I am not sure how far I will make it. I'll let you know.

Pictures won't up load, so I'll put them in later.

Don't say it isn't

2007-04-30T11:31:00.000-05:00

Acts11:9“But the voice from heaven came again, ‘If God says something is acceptable, don’t say it isn’t.’

If we look beyond the religious leaders judgement and telling us how to live,
We find a God with unconditional love.
If we look beyond the rules and social mores,
We find an all inclusive God.
Praise be to God!

Chives

2007-04-29T17:07:00.000-05:00

I have loved the last couple of days. Warm and sunny. Yesterday I loaded (with help) and unloaded (without help) two truck loads of dirt. Every year I replant under my tree, because the grass never makes it. My garden needed help and I threw top soil all over the front year and seeded it, because it looked pathetic.I won't use weed killer or fertilizer, because I don't like what those chemicals do to our water. Jacki is not for this plan, but I have to take a stand for Mother Earth somewhere.

Today I planted some flowers, to see if they can handle the weather. I have high hopes. I'll plant the rest later. I love spring, with all the colors and warmth. I wish my hair grew as fast as my chives.
Blessings..

Rain

2007-04-27T10:58:00.000-05:00

So what am I doing in this rainy weather? Reading, scrap booking, painting, copying mom's genealogy stuff, studying. I know I lead a blessed life. I am thinking about cleaning the basement, but so far I am not inspired. It may happen though.

I love how everything is so green and the plants are starting to peak through. There are even a few flowers that have opened. A reminder to keep my heart open to the Shepherds leading.

Kelly got to hear Jane Goodall speak. Leah pooped in the potty, only because her mom saw it coming. Hannah liked her birthday present, but had to get shots on her birthday, poor thing.

Happy Birthday Hannah!

2007-04-26T13:18:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Hannah! My granddaughter is One year old today. She is coming to visit me in June. I can't wait.April showers bring May flowers. The rain today is welcome. It made for a busy day at the soup place.Psalm 23:1
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

I am never in need.
I shall lack for nothing.

"God shows his loving-kindness and protecting power to those who need Him. Grace is God's unmerited Blessing, freely bestowed on those who do not deserve it." -Disciple’s Study Bible

Grace of God

2007-04-25T11:53:00.000-05:00

As the earth drinks in the rain,
As the sea receives the streams,
as night accepts light from the stars,
so we, giving nothing, partake freely of the grace of God. - Charles H. Spurgeon

I'm back

2007-04-24T20:25:00.000-05:00

Jacki and I went to Jamie and Nick's on Sunday. Jacki did a little fishing. I stayed till today and helped Jamie prep her gardens for planting. Leah liked to heelp.
After dumping sand and dirt on her head and in her eyes, a bath was in order. She likes baths.
This is the largest tree in Wisconsin. It is found in Montello, where we went to supper with Jamie and Nick's friends. Great hamburgers on the grill.
This is to give you perspective of the size.
Today we went to Madison to the Zoo. It rained.
We stopped and saw Grandma and Grandpa afterwards. I am tired, but I had fun.

Tim called and I had quite and extended conversation with Sam and heard Hannah say la, la and pushed buttons until she got the phone taken away and cried. Grand kids are so fun.

Here I am

2007-04-20T10:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a beautiful day. I turned the soil in my garden, played with my neighbor girl, and went to Bryant's track meet at Wilson Middle school. Bryant is our friends child. I was reminiscent of my kids running track there. Time goes on, and in 10 years my grandson could be running track.

Acts 9:10-20
"Here I am , Lord"
I want to say that, but it scares me sometimes. Where will you take me, Lord? Like Ananias it is sometimes hard to understand, and I must act on faith alone.

Grace means...

2007-04-19T10:53:00.000-05:00

Grace means there is nothing I can do to make God love me more, and nothing I can do to make God love me less. - Phillip Yancey

Stuff

2007-04-18T11:47:00.000-05:00

My neighbor kids were in the Suessical yesterday. Their mom has spent the last few months putting costumes together. Go Amanda!

Jamie had her fist OB appointment yesterday. She is due on Dec. 22. That makes 3 birthdays in a couple weeks of each other, in her family.

This was our watch dog last weekend, when we dog sat for little Bear, Jay and Nicole's dog.

The One

2007-04-17T13:30:00.000-05:00

The One who is without
is within.
The One who knows
is wisdom within.
The One who creates
is life within.
The One who loves
is fullness within.
The One who encompasses
is openness with in.
The One who is power
is humility within.
The One Who Is...
is surrender within.
The One who is without
is within.

Do you love me?

2007-04-17T11:10:00.000-05:00

Do You Love Me?
John 21:15-19
Doesn’t say will you obey....., but starts in our heart.

Peter-3 denials, 3 Questions - Do you love me’s?

With each of Peter’s affirmations of love he responded:
1) TEND MY LAMBS Serve my outcasts, oppressed, sick. Have compassion for those who need me.
2) SHEPHERD MY SHEEP Guide, protect, see to their needs. Sheep- the people that are already following me.
3) TEND MY SHEEP Serve mine

Do you love Me? If we love Jesus we are called to a life of

Serving

and

Compassion.
We are only able to do this, because we surrender our kingdom of self to the Kingdom of God.

By loving Christ so much more love is available, all we could ever want.

Love always involves responsibility and it always involves sacrifice.

Sheep never improve- Someone needs to be with them all the time.

Spring

2007-04-16T16:21:00.000-05:00

I went to the Doctor today. All my numbers were good. My cancer antigen has not moved, which is good. He told me about a few other chemo's I could do. I don't think I will. He also told me of complications that the cancer could cause and what the symptoms would be. Please pray that I don't get any of those complications.

With this beautiful weather, Jacki and I have been finally getting at our yard. We still had fall leaves to rake. I rest more than normal, but the yard is almost done. I certainly love the Spring.

Kaukauna's welcome

2007-04-14T13:53:00.000-05:00

This is my head decoration for our dress up night.

This is the award the team won. It is such an honor.

This is the team at the Awards Gala.

When we got to Kaukauna, they had a police and fire truck awaiting us, to escort us through town.

The students were thrilled to ride on the fire truck.

We got into town at 10:00 this morning, after an all night drive. I actually slept most of the ride home. I am so glad I got to go to the conference.

Award

2007-04-12T22:15:00.001-05:00

Our PRIDE team won the National Team of the Year Award, which is like winning the premier award given by PRIDE. It is a great honor, and one of the reasons I really wanted to come. The kids are way excited. I don't have my camera extension, so I can't do pictures until I get home.

God bless.

PRIDE Conference

2007-04-11T21:35:00.000-05:00


	WORLD DRUG PREVENTION CONFERENCE

This is the 30th year of the PRIDE Conference. I do believe I have been to 15 of them. What is fun, is that there has been about 15 other advisors that have been to that many also, so it is kind of like old home week for old advisers. It is good to see everyone. I am pacing myself so as to not get too tired. Like tonight I am missing the delightfully loud dance. I keep forgetting to bring my camera, so maybe tomorrow. The kids are really enjoying themselves. It is a small group, king of nice. Much easier than the 55 we use to bring.

30th ANNIVERSARY,
1977-2007
Charleston, WV will be the site for
PRIDE’s celebration of 30 years of
work. Walk down PRIDE’s memory
lane….dance through the 70’s, 80’s,
90’s and into the new millennium as
we capture the spirit of PRIDE. Jump
on the chance to hear Milton Creagh,
our returning popular keynote speaker,
as he shares his experiences.

Cheers

2007-04-10T12:18:00.000-05:00

What a long night. Buses with staggered seat are not conducive to sleep or comfort. I tried to stretch across the aisle, but I had to lay wopperjawed. So..... We are here in Charleston, West Virginia, regrouping before we head out for a meal. The conference starts tomorrow. The sun is out and it is sweatshirt weather. Pretty nice compared to the snow we left.

Cheers from a tired northerner.

Peace

2007-04-09T13:50:00.000-05:00

Since Nick put it in his blog, I guess I can too, Jamie's pregnant! She has been wanting to be, so this is great news. Another little beaner born sometime in Dec. or Jan. How exciting!

Honking snow flakes are falling, like one inch across. It is beautiful. The kind of thing you dream about in December. I wonder where the neighborhood ducks are.

John 20:19c
“Peace be with you.”

Peace: εἰρήνη
of Christianity, the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot, of whatsoever sort that is

The one thing we do have control over is the state of our soul. Giving it to God, we can find tranquility. It is my choice if I am seeking the Kingdom of God or the kingdom of Jeanne. The Kingdom of God can give me peace, a tranquil state of soul.

Happy Easter

2007-04-08T17:09:00.000-05:00

Christ has risen. Christ has risen, indeed!

We had a little scare yesterday. Leah peaked a 105 degree temp and seized and stopped breathing for 30 seconds. Scarred her parents and Deb her grandma bajeezez. They took her to the hospital in Portage, 30 miles away. Jamie wanted us to come, so we did. Down to Portage, up to Westfield and then back home. It turns out she had a bladder infection that spread throughout her body and caused the fever to jump rapidly. Today she is doing fine. Thank the Lord for modern medicine. Poor little booger.

Today we had Jacki's brother and family, dad and step mom and our neighbor Bea for Dinner. Jacki cooked it and it was very good.

Tomorrow I leave for Charleston, West Virginia, with the PRIDE Team. I haven't decided if I am bringing my computer, so if I don't blog that is why.

Snow?

2007-04-07T11:35:00.000-05:00

The snow is falling and covering the ground on this Easter Saturday. It is pretty, but I have memories of Easters that were very spring like. I do appreciate what I am given, and if it be snow I appreciate the snow. It is white and cleansing, a good thing for Easter.

Saturday of the Easter week reminds me that Jesus is the sacrifice that brings us to God. What Good News is this, but it all depends on tomorrow.

Seven last words

2007-04-06T10:06:00.000-05:00

These are some of my thoughts from my 30 day Silent retreat
Christ’s Seven Last Words

1. “Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing.”
Compassion
He put himself in their place in spite of his searing pain. They are doing what they think is right from their limited understanding.

They just don’t get the kingdom of God.

THEY DIDN'T GET IT. WE DON'T GET IT. God's kingdom is so different from what we want or expect. Not a throne, but a cross. Not a political King, but a servant, a Kingdom of Love.

Forgiveness is necessary.

2. “Truly I say to you, today you shall be with me in paradise.”

Thief - “remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
He sees Christ for who he really is. A king of a different realm.

Jesus - your past doesn’t matter. You have had a change of heart. It is never to late to be part of the kingdom. Remember the parables about people mad when late comers get the same treatment as themselves.
3. “Woman, behold your son. Behold your mother.

He is encouraging Mary and John to care for each other, but more than that...
The love these two share for Him has such an intensity. They can understand that in each other.

I share that love with all that love him. We are not left alone. We are part of a family. A family where Christ is our brother.

4. “I am thirsty.”

He probably was parched in the physical sense, but the thirst he refers to must also refer to the spiritual sense.

He yearns to be in God’s kingdom where there is living water?
He is encouraging us to yearn for the living water. Our thirst can be quenched by God.
“I am the living water. he who comes to me shall never thirst. (divinity)
Now he is showing his humanity,
“I thirst” - I understand what it is to thirst.

5. “My God, My God, why has thou forsaken me.” (Psalm 22:1a)

In His humanness he is showing us that there will be times when it feels like God is not there. It is dark and we are in agony, but God hasn’t left us.

The darkness and agony, bring us closer to God. We can become intimate.

6. “Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit.”

I give my essence to you God.
This is an example of Christ’s message to us. - give our essence, that which is us, to God.

God’s gentle, outreaching hands will take our spirit, gently wrap it in love and protect us. Holding us in the palm of His hand, or wrapping us in his arm’s if we wish.

7. “It is Finished”

He went the whole way- to death, to give Himself in love, as we must do.
Nothing now stands between us and God, no holy of holies, no political or social system.

When we die to ourselves, we have come home.

I LOVE YOU! I GAVE MY HEART TO GOD FOR YOU.

Maunday Thursday

2007-04-05T11:15:00.000-05:00

Every year Kelly asks me what Maunday thursday is about. So here is the definition.
Maundy Thursday
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In the Christian calendar, Holy Thursday — also called Maundy Thursday and, in the Eastern and Oriental Orthodox Churches, Great Thursday[1] — is the feast or holy day on the Thursday before Easter that commemorates the Last Supper of Jesus Christ with the Apostles. It is followed by Good Friday.

On this day four events are commemorated: the washing of the Disciples' feet by Jesus Christ, the institution of the Mystery of the Holy Eucharist at the Last Supper, the agony of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, and the betrayal of Christ by Judas Iscariot.
The word Maundy is derived through Middle English, and Old French mandé, from the Latin mandatum, the first word of the phrase "Mandatum novum do vobis ut diligatis invicem sicut dilexi vos" ( A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you), the statement by Jesus in the Gospel of John (13:34) by which Jesus explained to the Apostles the significance of his action of washing their feet.
John 13:34,45
34 “I’m giving you a new commandment: Love each other in the same way that I have loved you. 35 Everyone will know that you are my disciples because of your love for each other.”
LOVE: to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly

Jesus loved everyone. We too are commanded to welcome and love dearly everyone. This love can be in our lives, because Jesus love is in our lives. It isn't easy welcoming, serving, loving all, but what a blessing when we do.

I had a birthday surprise. Leah and Jamie came on my birthday. It was fun.This is my birthday card from the kid in her birthday suit.